Sometimes you are faced with someone that shakes your very core and the way you look at life. In the past I have explained that I lived with a ghost of a person. It was so shocking to have to see the continued deterioration of the the person that sat in front of me for about an hour. I have heard for a few people a few lines that have to say the least chilled me a bit. Some of the lines have caused me to think about what I saw. Ones like “the light has left her”, “she has lost you and it is hitting her harder than she wants to tell everyone”, “the love that you gave her and towards her is gone” and a few more but it really hit home when a song I heard came on the radio today …….

To explain I have been heart broken for many years watching the love of my life change into a shell of the former person. Our Divorce has not helped that as well, I have seen the ghost become a monster. I have tried and tried not to look at the person that my ghost has become. Sure I know that it is a bit of Mourning that I have been going through. But I really can’t see myself loving anyone again like I loved the old person. I always thought that if the stars would fall I could raise her up.

(Stay with me)

On my drive home from seeing my ghost today the radio needed to be changed and another channel. Then I got hit with “we are still going to school each and everyone one of us” followed by “we learn from relationship breakups as to not repeat it again and hopefully find someone better” So I got home and heard a few more songs that made me feel like the 80’s movie where the main character rips out his stereo cause all it plays is songs that remind him of his life at the time. I mean how screwed is that. Then it hit me I am still learning. I know who she was and I loved her until the ghost became more real than the past image. Now we deal with a monster that is part of the apparition.

This is my year !

No more will I allow the memories of the ghost to mess with my life! Goodbye my Ghost