So here I am once again at my favorite place for writing, the board mills market. I love this place to write and I get to do my next pass time people watch. It is a good place to reflect on life and the past week. So I am thinking on something that was said to me last week by a very close friend. She said “you know that it all makes sense to me right now, the person I see right now is the person who you gave me the impression was (my ex). It was a nice and touching conversation we had. I spent some time thinking about it to make sure I was comfortable with the comment. As I thought about it more and more, maybe I did talk up who she was and how I felt about her. I would like to think I was being honest.
Our conversation was also looking at the issues of hiding, I touched of this in a previous post. But as I looked at it in depth and in greater detail I am coming to terms that the hiding was really unhealthy. I think how many of the trans community are currently still doing this for one reason or another. I spent years hiding in one form or another. I just can’t follow the thinking that we were lying when in fact t it is more like we are more doing it out of self preservation than anything. You look at the issues that arise with just saying hey I am trans. Labels are assigned by the uneducated, bigoted, and others. Hell even the media right now are more willing to give airtime to the drop kicks of the trans community (Jenner).
I have been looking at the issues of the divorce and how I have felt about the ex -to-be. It is an issue of karma and being in balance with all that is going on around. I listen to people say don’t think about her and it will be fine. Though I think that is more of an issue embracing that pain and the loss to accept the issues of grief. This allows the healing to begin. I love the fact that I have great friends who allow the healing process to take as long as it has.
Sitting here at the café I have enjoyed talking to friends and others that I don’t even know yet. As the morning has rolled on we were being treated to a man and a guitar. This place is just getting better as the days roll on. Talking the Maria in between customers is a huge treat and so many customers love it.
We 12 hours later it was time to come home. What a great place to be good friends new and old. A good time to be had by all.