There are just those days when everything you think everything’s going right then out of the dark BOOM curve ball. I have always tried my best to help friends, I never ask for anything in return. This was something my dad taught me was the right thing to do. Then when I learned about running my own business and how to become a successful project manager, I excelled. Why? I plan for redundancy should something fail I have backups waiting in the wings. Ready to go at the drop of a hat. It does not mean I have to use them I am just ready incase I need them.

Late this year I learned a new lesson the hard way. No matter how much water that damn horse needs you will never be able to make it drink. This is not the lesson.  I feel guilty for leaving a couple of horses sitting next to the water. But I could not help any more, I had to make a choice. Risk telling a friend the frightful truth or stepping away so that I did not have to see a horse wither and die.

A lot of the time when managing a project people don’t want to hear the truth about what they are planning so you ride a crazy horse until it falls over dead. In some cases when there are multiple horses it is hard to tell the driver that one of the horses is about to falter. As you should know that if one horse falters while in a train the whole damn thing will crash. It will be something to see or if it limps along long enough the train will stall and wither. My dad never taught me how to walk away like that. It was a horrible feeling as I could see the outcome that will come in the end one way or another.

There is some to be said about the crazy ones, they don’t see it. They have no clue that they are an issue or should we say a liability. When running a large multifaceted project there are the crazy ones. They limp along they cost money hand over fist. They do it in such a way that the driver does not see the problems until it is too late.  They make poor excuses to productivity and or quality. They refuse help from anyone who offers and are completely blind to their own narcissistic actions. While trying to convince the driver that they are a thoroughbred. The driver is dazzled by this show when all he needed was a Clydesdale to match the other horses.

But like most thoroughbreds there is always the hidden agenda. Most people are not poker players they have no clue to a person’s “Tells” let alone the “Micro Expressions” that are are able to show the truth behind the deceptions. If you sit at a table long enough you learn people’s tells. Some say over and over I am qualified, I studied, i know what I am doing and the list goes on and on. But a good player at the table loses for a reason, they watch listen and learn the tells. I walked through the door and saw every micro expression and tell. The player / project manager who loses to see the players “Tells” is not losing the big pot in the end he has won it.

Those micro expressions are really cool things to learn about BTW. Some people do a great job while hiding them while others fail. It does not help when you storm out of a room when someone walks in. The players all see it, they know, they too are starting to learn the “Tells” it will take longer for the average person to see the micro expressions. Most people are not watching them.

Now to what I learned and that did come from my dad. You have friends there are good ones and they come with friends who will never be your friends. This is the same in business there are businesses that you use and they have ones they use but you will never use for whatever reason. It is so very hard to see that lesson. Even harder when all you want to do it stand on the rooftop and yell WTF! As a project manager it is so hard not to grab the reigns from the driver and say LOOK! Rose coloured glasses we want the best so it is hard to see when we have a wannabe.

Lesson learned…..

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