I am NOT a therapist, I am a Transgender Healthcare Educator. BUT in saying that I am a Parent who has stumbled upon a reaction upon talking with my youngest daughter who came out of the shadows (closet). This post is with the permission of my wonderful daughter.
One day I was sitting at our kitchen table and enjoying a cuppa (cup of coffee). When my little girl came and sat down next to me. This happens a lot nothing was being said. That was not the normal for her normally talk the leg off a chair while you are sitting in it. I knew something was not quite right. So I got up and made her a cup of hot chocolate and we sat in the morning glow of the light filtering in the kitchen window.
“Hey I can tell something is not right with you. Would you like to talk about what is going on?” Then the tears began to flow down her cheek. Tissues were supplied and I listened to what came next. “I am Bi” please don’t be mad at me.
Here is what I asked my child…
“Do you know that you are listened to?”
“Do you know that I love you?”
“Do you know that you are special?”
“Do you know that you are valued?”
I waited for an answer and then asked the next one. But then in the end when she was done answering the last question. I said the following and something magical happened.
Because you are…
With a ray of sunlight she brighten up and it looked like a weight just fell from her shoulders. We finished breakfast and we started our day without saying anything else. The information that she gave did not matter what did matter was to let her know that she was Valued in my eyes regardless of her news that was stressing about.