“You can overcome any decision made” ~ Adam Savage
I have been trying to answer a question that was sent to me here recently. As a parent and a good one at that I thought I could answer this with ease. But that is not always as simple as one might think. Even is the answer is simple.
The question was…
I am transgender and it has taken me a long time to accept this. I have been seeing a gender therapist behind my parents back for the last 5 years. The dysphoria has been a real ass kicker and I am thinking of starting my Medical Transition now that I am 18. Am I doing the right thing?
Hello kiddo, I say this out of love, compassion, and kindness. Which is what I feel you need right now at this moment in your life in this difficult point. First let us clear some thing up before I answer you. I am not your parents, I cannot give you any view on how they will respond to your circumstances. All I can provide you with is some advice that you need to think about.
The first thing you need to think about is, Are you prepared? Some parents do not act the way we would hope when our child tells us something so important as this is.
Next can you support yourself without others helping you make ends meet? Do you have a place to live? What are your realistic goals for a future?
We (Transgender community) all at some point want to be just US in this life. We (parents) want only the best for our children. Sometimes we (parents) try to take the tough love path which does not always yield the results that we (parents) want. You see we (parents) make mistakes as well. I hope that you have a good bond with yours that you can talk with them over this issue. You can even involve your counselor if you need to feel safe.
The choice is yours to make no one should or can do it for you. The Transgender Community is as vast and diversified as any community can be. There is always someone around the corner to share a coffee or tea with. Life as a Transperson can be very difficult and at times it does not feel like it is never going to improve. Times are changing the old guard is dying out and some parents and communities are now more and more understanding. But whatever you choose to do, it is a choice of listening to yourself. Listen to your doctors and therapists there are however those in our community who say that you can do it yourself. Please if you make the choice to medical transition do it with the care of the professionals. A healthy transitions must be done in a way that you have a bright future.
As Adam Savage said in the above quote “You can overcome any decision made”. This is sometimes very hard but when you claw your way up the steep mountain you will be able to see a view of a beautiful journey that you have made and whom you have become. There will be bumps and bruises along the way. Every rose has thorns and those will protect the beauty of you. If you need a huge HUG Free Mum Hugs will always show love no matter who you become. I wish you only the best.