Well, I bet you might not know that I have a few disabilities. Well, you might if you read the blog enough. But I want to touch base on them and talk about them.
I was born with Severe Dyslexia. Even my sisters did not fully know how bad it was for me growing up not being able to read correctly. Even to this day I struggle with the written word. But, I do not let it drag me down emotionally. I must say having this website has become one of the biggest opportunities I have ever had. There are times where I am just not feeling the ability to put anything down. Though I force myself as I want to overcome what is holding me back. Used to be fearful of others hearing me read. As in the past people used to bully me about my lack of ability to do just that. There is nothing like trying to read to others when words on the page are moving. I used to do my head in to a point that I would outright refuse to do it. I could say the very thought of it was worse than death.
My dyslexia also prevented me from writing anything with a cohesive structure of thought. Meaning that I could not create a story from start, then progressing onto the body, and then closing that thought process with an ending. I was so scatter when I tried to do that. I have spent years working to overcome those issues. Mind you I am still not able to read Fox-n-Socks. My ex used to even make fun of me when I tried to. It got so bad that I refused to read it in front of my children.
When I was younger I had HUGE problems with eye hand coordination. I went to so much physiotherapy just to get it working right. I even have issues with Hyper nerves on my back. There are time someone touching my back can feel like knives. Or even like someone is tickling me to a point where I cannot control the tingling of their touch. But there other times just a hug can make my skin crawl. It becomes very difficult when you are in a relationship and….(you know). Then add in nerve damage from a spider bite on my left arm that almost killed me. Damn that can be so messed up with all of the nerves are saying to me I am going to mess with you today.
I was ten years old when it started. There was nothing that was a starter for it but I could not stop being in pain in my knees. It always felt like someone was jabbing a hot iron poker into them. Pain meds could only do so much. Icy Hot, Heat, Bengay, Tiger Balm and heat packs would get used even in the summer to try to numb the pain. The older I get the more the pain has increased to a point that my doctor was saying it is Chronic pain which is a simple term for Fibromyalgia. Then he laughs and say that is a nutshell terms for chronic pain. Which means in a nutshell “Yeah we know you are in pain and it does not end and there is nothing we can do. But here try these drugs.” I am not an Anti-vaxxer but I do try to avoid using too many drugs as I don’t want to live my life just taking pills. Which now I have random falls for no reason other than my knees saying to my body “time to meet the ground again”.
I have Asthma yup the dreaded wheezing, coughing, tight chest, must wear loose clothing (yeah bras are a bitch), and to top that off Anxiety when I don’t have a spray with me or it runs out.
Gender Dysphoria I consider myself lucky I do not have a very bad case of this. But to say the least it is fucked. Yup it is that part of me that looks at my (Bits) and says you are not right. That is a GTFO issue.
Well that is everything, now ask yourself why did I tell you about my disabilities? Did you notice that I did not say being Transgender was one of my disabilities? That is because it is not, I was born this way. But I do not let it cripple my existence. In fact I work hard at being honest about what it is being Transgender. Nothing above can be fixed it is the way I am , the way I was born. When was the last time you looked into the mirror of who you are and were honest about your own health shortcomings? Would you like others to point them out for you? Would you like others to mock those aspects of you? So why would you do it to someone else? Why would you let someone make fun of a person that is blind or has Autism? You wouldn’t, would you?
Then if you answered no to the last question. Here are a few things to know life can be shit at times. None of us are born perfect, we all have flaws some you can see others are not there for you to see. So here is some advice that will help others see you in a positive light. Don’t stare, Don’t track others with your eyes, Don’t make rude comments, Don’t post something that you know might be hurtful to another person, and hey here is something easy to do listen to your mum “If you don’t have nothing nice to say…SHUT UP”
Why did I write this? You see I see things that most people don’t. I have a friend and we will call him O. Kind of like a secret agent name there. But O is an amazing person who has Autism and is Blind. O also has the most amazing memory and set of wonderful skills when it comes to anyone’s birth date. It is always my pleasure to bump into O. From the first day I was one of his carers some six years ago to now. O has never forgotten me, O has never treated me with anything but kindness and respect, and O has never forgotten who I am.
Another friend and I were having coffee on Friday afternoon and who should grace us with an appearance but none other than O. I saw you staring at him and us. I saw you start talking about him like he was a second class citizen (bet you didn’t know but I read lips). I also saw you talking about me and my friend asking why she would be out with us. But what you don’t know is the four people that were talking at that point in time were the most talented, kind, and loving individuals in that part of the cafe’. #unjudgesomeone #endbigotry
In closing let me say one last thing. I don’t care who you are, where you came from, what you have for disabilities, what language you speak, Gay, Strait, and Transgender. I just don’t care, you can sit with me and feel safe.