No one can force you to change your beliefs. Only you can do that through learning. When it comes to others that is a monumental task at times. When it comes to us and we are looking in the mirror it can be even harder. – A. Robins (me, quoting myself)
The truth behind who I am is much harder than most will ever know. I have come a long way. It has not been an easy road and most of the bumps I have had to learn to overcome might have been placed there by me. You see the buck stops with me. Even my response to being abused the buck stops with my response to that abuse. I still maintain that there is not one single excuse for abuse for anyone. Now the hard part is to admit we have all abused someone in our lives. That person might have even been ourselves at one point or another. But we learn and grow from education sometimes taught outside of classrooms and belief structures.
This is where my topic “Changing the way I communicate” is based. About a year ago I heard something that stuck with me. To many, it might seem simplistic as well as part of the so-called “cancel culture” which I believe is more akin to Consequence Culture. I heard someone say maybe we should stop saying “Have a Happy…” or “Have a Merry”. I thought to myself what a joke why should we stop it is not hurting anyone. But being a person that loves to learn I dug deeper and wanted to know why should we stop.
Just like we now say “Stop forcing your children to hug and kiss people”. The reason for this is that it teaches a pattern of abuse. Which might lead to trauma or worse. When we look at telling someone to have a Happy day we are saying to them that what they might feel about that one day does not matter. I know you might think this is a stretch but let me continue. I looked at Christmas last year and wished people a peaceful holiday. I was rebuked by someone telling me that it is Merry Christmas. My heart dropped and I felt ashamed of my efforts. But I did not let it stop my resolve to think of others.
This year I changed what I was saying which triggered NO ONE. What I wrote was “have a peaceful holiday. I say holidays as many of my friends are in different belief structures.” [sic] But that line of thinking was part of the real change I was going through. I stopped telling people to do something that some might find difficult during the Holiday season. This is because they could have lost something/someone during that time of year. Wishing them to find peace is part of good comfort we can hope if it was us in that position it would be said to us.
But then I took it one step further. I started to wish others in my daily travel to have a peaceful day. Think about the difference that can make. I am not forcing you to have a good day when it might be a very bad day for you. I am wishing you to find peace within this day. Will this improve a person’s day? I don’t know, but will it make it worse? I doubt it. It is all about creating change that helps others.
Give it a try and see subtle change. Remember we don’t need some people doing it perfectly to create the change, we need thousands doing it imperfectly. But one last thing to try before you go. I heard this once and I am even not fully game to give it a big-time go. Instead of “Have a good day” change it to “Have the day you deserve”. When you first look at it you might think it is not going to be received well. But look at it deeper. It is telling the person to use Karma the way it is meant to be. Your actions will be returned to you in the way they are given. Working with the idea that Karma can be created and fostered through your actions.